Welcome the New Year by Letting Go!

The whole of human life is a process of letting go.  As children, we let go of old friends to make room for new ones,  let go of our parent’s homes to make our own mark in the world.  We let go of old for the sake of the new, we let go of our needs for the sake of the family’s, let go of our children so they too can make their mark in the world.  As the letting go in our youth seemingly leads to expansion of our outer world (creating a family, home and all the material comforts of the world), the letting go in our later years leads to expansion of our inner world, if we let it.  We go full circle and end up where we started.  We may go back to what used to inspire us, invest in our growth, rediscover ourselves, or redefine our purpose. All of this prepares us for the ultimate letting go, letting go of our body and returning to the Source.

There is a flow to life; to resist that flow is to cause suffering but to dive in the flow is to gain momentum in finding our truth. A letting go that makes us more of who we are;  one that brings ease and lightens the load is a good letting go.

Here are the 5 key points to ease the process:

  1. Shift Your Perspective

Letting go is painful when our focus is on what we are giving up. However, when we shift the focus on what we are getting or where we are headed can give us that much needed relief.  It is better to focus on where we are going instead of where we have been.  We can choose how we see the process.  If we keep our eyes focused on the rose that has just bloomed instead of the bud that it was before, we enjoy the flower. The truth of the rose lies in its bloom and the fragrance it shares.  In the same way, our essence/truth is in our deeper Self, our inner Self.  Every experience that takes us closer to our true Self is a good experience.  Life is an evergreen rose bush, new roses continue to bloom.

  1. Be In The Moment

We are usually frightened after or in anticipation of what will happen but very rarely in the moment. As we master staying in the moment, we are continuously letting go of the moment past and are not anticipating the next. So we can begin to let all our life become one big letting go experience.

  1. Be Quick and Adaptable

By not reacting, we can turn any situation around and create an exhilarating victory for ourselves.   This all comes from developing and culturing our nervous system through self care, self investment and meditation practices.

  1. Be Vulnerable

This is our ultimate strength and defense as it brings lightness, freedom, flow and happiness. Allow yourself to feel what you feel.  Let go of clutter, grudges, limiting beliefs ,  and notice how you feel.  Become empty of all that is weighing you down and get full again with what you consciously choose.  Realize that you do not have to do it all and figure it all out! Why would you impose on your soul to figure out the why of others?  Think of letting go as the ultimate act of self-love.  You are only responsible for your actions. Do what you know to do.  Create boundaries, cut the emotional cords, and invest time in unlocking the treasure that lies within you.  That is when the answers will come.

  1. Recognize the Process

Realize that resistance is not the final picture, It means you are not there YET, yet being the operative word and the process is underway.   The resistance does not have to mean anything other than that it is natural, it is movement, and it is superficial and transient.

The human purpose is evolution as it paves the road to our next life. Letting go is not giving up, it is becoming more of who we are.  It is not emptying, it is approaching our true Self which is fulfilling.

What we let go becomes part of ourselves, strengthening and carving us into our true Self, much like the leaves; when fallen become part of the tree strengthening its roots and sustaining if for years to come. It is a beautiful process that continuously fills the gaps and comes back to us multifold.

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The Business of Yoga

With so many twists, turns and amalgamations, we have come far with the business of Yoga!  Overemphasis on one limb, asanas(body postures), and at the best, confused and superficial application of the other limbs leaves the real purpose of Yoga far behind.

Yes, the real and true practice remains an illusion. And as a teacher, you watch this evolution( not sure that it is?) go on and without getting caught up in the trend try to offer a practice that is authentic and has some promise of spiritual growth.

Why has it become so confusing. The practice and teachings that are some 5000 years old were cognized and channeled by enlightened sages and gurus to provide humanity a way of life without suffering. This was the most purest, unselfish teachings as teachers were not looking to advance their finances or their name. The students sought after the gurus and were only introduced to the practice if they were ready. This was at the discretion of their teacher, of course.

A lot has changed since then. The challenge is how to infuse the truth of Yoga in a most authentic way in the modern life confusion and try to stay true to the teachings. The marketing advantage further distorts this path. Our minds have become accustomed to gravitating towards what looks good, feels good and is fun! That leaves many real teachers without much financial means and savvy hidden. The line between what is real and what is not becomes blurry for the novice practitioners.   The teachers, if they get caught up, risk distorting their teachings by catering to the students; some postures – but make it fun, yoga fashion, a bit of what may sound like spirituality, mood- making, and throw in a bit of Sanskrit for a good measure, and there you have it. At the best, this kind of setting creates a lure, a fascination towards the practice, but without the depth and all the dimensions, the illusion and the chase remains.

Now the question? Do you give your students what they want or what they need?

I do not claim to have all the answers, but am questioning the path that Yoga seems to have taken. The answer is not as clear cut and we may dance around what is possible and come closer to the truth. In order for the teacher to bring clarity to the students, the teacher must first be clear. To be clear means to not join the race of popularity or trendy. One of my teachers said that the purpose of the teacher is to make the students better than the teacher. Herein I find my answer.

Now with Yoga and wine(Seriously?), the time has come to once again go to the roots of this practice. Serving our purpose here with our limited time on this planet has to be the core of these teachings both for students and teachers and that requires some digging into the truth.  The question is: Do you want the truth or the trend?






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Drishti – From Old Notes

Our attention is the most valuable thing we have, and the visible world can be an addictive, over stimulating and spiritually debilitating lure.  There are billions of dollars spent in marketing on visual image and the value of our attention.  In Yoga, we use drishti (yogic gaze) to redirect our eyes and our focus.

In traditional Ashtanga practice, drishti is an important part of the practice.  Our attention follows our eyes.  When we intentionally direct our eyes, we also redirect our focus. There are 9 specific drishti points in Ashtanga Yoga.  In every asana, the prescribed drishti assists in concentration, aids movement and helps orient the pranic body.

Drishti organizes our perceptual apparatus to recognize and overcome the limits of normal vision.  Our eyes can only see objects in front of us that reflect the visible spectrum of light, but yogis seek to view an inner reality not visible to the naked eye.  We see what we want to see – a projection of our own limited ideas.

Drishti is a technique for looking for the divine everywhere – thus for seeing correctly the world around us – removing ignorance that obscures this true vision.  In candle gazing, eyes are held open until tears form.  Not only this gives the eyes a wash, it overrides the unconscious urges – the urge to blink.

In the practice, it is a soft gaze, to send our attention beyond outer appearance to inner essence.  By fixing the gaze on an unmoving point, we can assume the characteristics of that point – stable and balanced.

Yogic gaze emerges from an intense desire to achieve the highest goal of united consciousness, rather than from egoistic motives that create separation, limitation, judgment and suffering.

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5 Essential Tools for Transforming your Health in 2015

Happy New Year!  How wonderful to have another opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start all over. There is a certain excitement, a readiness in the air that is inspiring and uplifting. We are reminded again of our dreams and desires and our fire is lit. 

State of our health affects every aspect of our lives, so naturally it is at the top of everyone’s resolution. While there are many ways that we all may have found to work for us, I have summed up the 5 essential tools that have helped many clients over the past year.    

Just Begin

The most important and perhaps the most challenging step is to begin or to simply show up.  Too often, we get derailed by focusing on the outcome instead of our actions.  We want to know what we will get before we even begin.  Many times, the outcome is not predictable and is different for everyone

Make this an action oriented year as our actions is the only thing that is in our hands.  When we do not know what is possible, how can we know what we want?  Focusing on the outcome before even beginning is the mind’s way to rationalize away our actions and keep us away from our goals.  For anything to work,  we have to allow it to work.  It is not about perfection, it is about progress.  To begin is to make progress. Continue to begin again and again.   

Don’t wait to be ready to begin.  No one is truly ready for anything.  Time is fleeting, it does not wait for us to be ready.  It comes and goes.  There is no right time, there is only NOW.


We give up too soon and/or begin to dabble into other easier options or quick fixes only to be further away from your goals.  There is no easy route, it only becomes easy once we trust in what we are doing.  Success lies just at the other side of failure.  Joy is the other side of misery.  It is just that we do not stay the path long enough to break through.  We give up too soon. The underlying reason is fear:  fear of healing/not healing.    It takes 40 days to change a habit or to implement a new one.   We have to give ourselves permission to go through the pressure and adversity so we can come out on the other side stronger, healthier and happier.

Dig deep and stick with it. The beauty of everything lies in its depth.  Change comes from what we do day in and day out, not just what we do once in a while.  It is about being consistent and staying the course.  

 Cultivate Awareness

Ultimately, it is our awareness that gives us insight into what is going on with us so we know what needs changing.  The quickest and most effective way to cultivate awareness that I know of is to have a meditation practice.  Wanting to be more aware does not make us more aware.  Awareness is a state of existence ; to truly understand it is to experience it and the way to experience it is through a consistent meditation practice. 

To be healthy is to be aware of the needs of our body, mind and spirit.  Too much of our lifestyle that contributes to ill health is driven by sub-conscious patterning.   Through the meditation practice, we can make conscious what is sub-conscious and therefore make the necessary changes.  

Make Peace

Too often, too many of us are fighting a battle with disease.  While not giving up, staying positive and strong are much needed attributes to deal with an illness, with some parts of us, we have to do it with a sense of peace. Ironically, this gives us more answers, opens more doors and solutions because the energy we invest in fighting is now free to do what is best for us.  Every obstacle is a teacher, a gift.   What is it asking of you?  Give up the struggle, the fight and look at the bigger picture.  Everything does not need to be “fixed” or fought with, it needs to be first deeply understood.  The mindset of fighting back creates physiological changes that drive the fight or flight response, which continues to maintain the same inner environment that hosted the disease in the first place.

Seek Expert Guidance

We are not meant to do it alone and we are not meant to know everything.  We live in the times where there is information overload.  It is important to understand that the information is too general, out of context and fragmented. To try to implement a few things here and there leaves you scattered, anxious and without real results.  Get the advice, help and guidance from an expert who knows you so they can guide you step-by-step throughout the journey to health and help you to stay the course.     

Here is to your best health in 2015!

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In the Service of Life – By Rachel Naomi Remen

A great read I came across that I wanted to share……..!

In recent years the question “How can I help?” has become meaningful to many people. But perhaps there is a deeper question we might consider. Perhaps the real question is not “How can I help?” But “How can I serve?”

Serving is different from helping. Helping is based on inequality; it is not a relationship between equals. When you help you use your own strength to help those of lesser strength. If I’m attentive to what is going on inside of me when I’m helping, I find that I’m always helping someone who is not as strong as I am, who is needier than I am. People feel this inequality. When we help we may inadvertently take away from people more than we could ever give them; we may diminish their self-esteem, their sense of worth, integrity and wholeness. When I help I am very aware of my own strength. But we don’t serve with our strength, we serve with ourselves. We draw from all of our experiences. Our limitations serve, our wounds serve, even our darkness can serve. The wholeness in us serves the wholeness in others and the wholeness in life. The wholeness in you is the same as the wholeness in me. Service is a relationship between equals.

Helping incurs debt. When you help someone they owe you one. But serving, like healing is mutual. There is no debt. I am as served as the person that I am serving. When I help I have a feeling of satisfaction.  When I serve I have a feeling of gratitude. These are very different things.

Serving is also different from fixing. When I fix a person I perceive them as broken, and their brokenness requires me to act. When I serve I see and trust that wholeness. It is what I am responding to and collaborating with.

There is distance between ourselves and whatever or whomever we are fixing. Fixing is a form of judgment. All judgment creates distance, a disconnection, an experience of difference. In fixing there is an inequality of expertise that can easily become a moral distance. We cannot serve at a distance. We can only serve that to which we are profoundly connected, that which we are willing to touch. This is Mother Teresa’s basic message. We serve life not because it is broken but because it is holy.

If helping is an experience of strength, fixing is an experience of mastery and expertise. Service, on the other hand, is an experience of mystery, surrender, and awe. A fixer has the illusion of being casual. A server knows that he or she is being used and has a willingness to be used in the service of something greater, something essentially unknown. Fixing and helping are very personal; they are very particular, concrete and specific. We fix and help many different things in our lifetimes, but when we serve we are always serving the same thing. Everyone who has ever served through the history of time serves the same thing. We are servers of the wholeness and mystery in life.

The bottom line, of course, is that we can fix without serving. And we can help without serving. And we can serve without fixing or helping. I think I would go so far as to say that fixing and helping may often be the work of the ego and service is the work of the soul. They may look similar if you’re watching from the outside, but the inner experience is different. The outcome is often different too.

Our service serves us as well as others. That which uses us strengthens us. Over time, fixing and helping are draining, depleting. Over time we burn out. Service is renewing. When we serve, our work itself will sustain us.

Service rests on the basic premise that the nature of life is sacred, that life is a holy mystery, which has an unknown purpose. When we serve, we know that we belong to life and to that purpose. Fundamentally, helping, fixing, and service are ways of seeing life. When you help you see life as weak, when you fix, you see life as broken. When you serve, you see life as whole. From the perspective of service, we are all connected. All suffering is like my suffering and all joy is like my joy. The impulse to serve emerges naturally and inevitably from this way of seeing.

Lastly, fixing and helping is the basis of curing, but not of healing. In 40 years of chronic illness I have been helped by many people and fixed by a great many others who did not recognize my wholeness. All that fixing and helping left me wounded in some important and fundamental ways. Only service heals.

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Kundalini Yoga holds the power to transform

We have been in the transition from the Piscean Age to the Aquarian Age for the last 50 years.  Aquarian Age is the age of wisdom, knowledge and information.  For the next 2000 Years we will be in the Aquarian Age.   During this age, the focus is no longer on our identity and existence, but on accepting oneself as a whole person who does not need to believe in something outside of oneself. Through knowledge, wisdom and experiences, we can raise the level of our consciousness and vibrations, therefore ending the suffering if we choose.

The earth’s vibrations are higher now than they have ever been, making this a time of great potential growth and expansion, but it is also a time of great potential pain and suffering. The more we understand what is happening, the more we can go through all of the changes without losing our balance and stability. 

We need to do the internal work to raise the level of consciousness and Kundalini Yoga is one of the practices that does that very effectively and scientifically.

Kundalini Yoga is considered to be the most comprehensive of yoga traditions, combining meditation, mantra, physical movement and breathing techniques.   Kundalini is the coiled up energy that sits dormant at the base of our spine.  The fundamental objective is to awaken that energy to full potential of human awareness in each individual, so it can rise up the spine and illuminate our being and allows us to merge with the divine.  Fusing individual and universal consciousness creates a divine union, called “Yoga.” This practice clears away any inner duality, create the power to deeply listen, cultivate inner stillness and prosper and deliver excellence in all that we do. For thousands of years, this sacred science and technology was veiled in secrecy, passed along verbally from master to chosen disciple.  That is no longer the case in the Aquarian Age as we all have access to this information and we can experience it.

We awaken the kundalini in order to be able to call upon the full potential of the nervous and glandular systems and to balance the subtle system of chakras and meridians within the body. “Kriya” is an orchestrated pattern of movements, sound, pranayam, mudras, concentration and meditation that automatically guide the energies of the body and the mind to a specific result or change of consciousness.  The result is steady, predictable sustainable personal growth and healing. In this tradition, meditation is not considered separate from asana or yoga; it is integral to the practice. The exercises in the kriya bring the body and mind to a state where deep meditation is easily achieved.

We are not immune to anger, pain, disappointment and other negative emotions. The problem isn’t with the emotions; it is in the inability to transform them.  .   Practices of Kundalini Yoga hold the key on how to transform our anxiety into creativity, our fear into love, emotionality into intelligence and our anger into passion and radiance.   Once we can experience that internally, we naturally and organically begin to attract that in our lives.






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Yoga goes Mainstream

Due to the undeniable positive results of practicing Yoga, this 5000-year-old holistic practice has become mainstream with close to 23 million practitioners in US alone. Of the current non-practitioners, 44.4 percent call themselves “aspirational yogis”—people who are interested in trying yoga.  30% of practitioners are males.

Yoga is no longer just for the fit and flexible; not just for women who have lots of time on their hands, not just for the rich and famous.  Still many misconceptions remain and the purpose of this column is to address some of the misconceptions.

Injuries, Limitations, Surgery and More….

Some of the most common complaints are herniated disc, limited movement in the joints, frozen shoulder, chronic pain, arthritis and aftermath of having undergone surgery.  It is important, in these cases, to choose the class carefully. A class that focuses more on therapy and less on poses is a better fit.  Or you may consider doing individual yoga therapy with a teacher trained in Yoga Therapy and make it part of the recovery process.  Yoga therapy will help you regain movement and prevent future injuries.

Not all Yoga is the same.  You may have to take more than one class to find the right fit for you. Don’t let a bad experience keep you away from something that could hold the key to your recovery and healing.

I can’t bend; I am so inflexible.  

 The truth is that most of us are inflexible until we do Yoga.  It is precisely the reason why you should!   Do not mistake the end for the means.  Flexibility is the end result of doing Yoga.

Imagine being able to reach for something without pulling a muscle, bend down to pick up something without injuring your back, lifting your child or something heavy with ease.  These are the results of doing yoga.

I can’t sit still and be serious; I have no time

Your mind is continuously engaged when you practice Yoga; there is no boredom and you are not sitting still.  You participate completely in what you are doing, and actually look forward to being still and welcome the rest at the end of the class.  You walk away feeling light hearted and at ease.  You laugh easily and don’t take life so seriously.

Frantically running around to get stuff done does not necessarily translate into accomplishing more.  How do you feel when you run around everyday to do more and more?  How do you sleep?  Are you happy at the end of the day, or simply exhausted?

What if you could accomplish more with less stress and more fulfillment? This is the promise of Yoga!  Make Yoga part of your life – live with ease, presence and purpose.

The feeling of lack of time is a state of mind.  When the mind is busy, we feel busy and overwhelmed. When we can slow down the mind, we slow down the time and become present in the moment.

It is too hard; I’ll end up making a fool of myself

Those who practice Yoga know that the old image of yoga as young, fit and sleek bodies in complex Yoga poses is obsolete.  If you find the class to be too hard, take another class that is more suited for your fitness level.

There is a purpose in comparing us to others; it helps us define ourselves.  Once we begin to embrace ourselves as we are, what others do or think becomes unimportant.  The good news is that if you fear you will make a fool of yourself, you will only fear it until you take the right class. Once you take the right class, you will know the truth.

On the other hand, we have to be willing to make a fool of ourselves every now and then.  That is how we grow!

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Overcoming Fear

My last article addressed the issue of love and fear.  It is my hope that it helped us separate when we operate out of love and when we operate out of fear.  It is not fun or comfortable being in fear and it is definitely not easy to overcome it.  This article will address how we can continue to move through fear as it arises in an effective way of overcoming it.

Fear is a reactive mechanism that operates when our identity and safety is threatened.  Sometimes, this mechanism can save us and another times can debilitate us.  We either move to destroy the threat, seek revenge, grasp at safety, pursue distraction, or protect our position. Because we are less present to what is actually taking place, our actions are correspondingly less appropriate and less effective. We get stuck in our beliefs and ignore the consequences of maintaining them.

If we threaten others or are threatened by others, that also results from fear.  On the other side, no one can threaten us unless we have fear.  If we can get rid of our fear, threats no longer exist.  Resistance to something different, especially if it attacks our core beliefs, creates more fear of it and we get stuck in operating out of fear.

How to experience fear and not react? Sit consciously in the experience of fear, become aware of the feeling itself and how it resonates with other areas of our life.  Have we experienced it before? We may become aware of older, uncomfortable, buried feelings. We may understand and know directly the reactions that formed in us to keep us from being present in our life. The task is to dismantle the projections and know fear directly as it is, a movement of emotional energy.

Continuously, asking ourselves the question “Why am I doing this?” cuts through the layers of projection or suppression until we arrive at “I don’t know.” Right there we will be experiencing an emotion. Ordinarily, we do not experience feelings because we either act on them and the energy goes into the action, or we suppress them and the energy goes into the body.

Stop all action and all reactive thought.  The feeling will be right there. Take residence in it and be the feeling. Being the feeling is different from being with the feeling. This feeling can have all kinds of secondary feelings that may conflict with one another.  Open to all of it as fully as possible. What emerges is a distinct and identifiable feeling.

The next step is to evoke the feeling at least once a day and be it. It will release. When it does, evoke it again. Keep entering the feeling by evoking it until we can stay in it. Our relationship with the feeling will change. While being in the feeling, continue to engage in daily chores.  Look at the world while we live in the feeling. In this step, we can see clearly that the way the feeling causes us to experience the world is purely projection.

Once we can be the feeling and know its nature simultaneously, the feeling no longer has any power over us. We are free from its projections. We no longer believe what the feeling says about the world, so the impulse to go to war, to fight, to grasp at security, or to protect status dissipates. We let go of our own limited beliefs and perhaps see someone else’s in a different light.  We let go of trying to make the world or ourselves into something solid as we understand that all experience arises and subsides. Instead of reacting to fear and terror with hatred, discrimination, or confusion, we live in awareness, not looking to the past or the future for meaning or motivation, but responding precisely and appropriately to the needs of the present.

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For the Love of Life

I like to believe that we all have been touched by love at some point in our lives, because it is as basic a need as having air to breathe. Obviously, I am talking about more than the romantic love, which is fixated or directed at one particular person.  If we have ever loved deeply, then chances are we have also been wounded deeply.  On the contrary, if we expand our definition and therefore circle of love and do not confuse love with ownership, then love can only be healing and expanding.

I am talking about the love that is all encompassing.  When we operate out of love, we let go and forgive even our “enemies” because with our hearts so open, we can identify with the humanness in them.   It flows out of us effortlessly in everything we do, how we live, relationships we build and everything we create.  Love is the vital force, a positive energy that sustains the universe.  All else is just an illusion.  Without love, all creation may shrink to nothing.  In being love and in giving love is the only way to get love.

I truly believe that inherently we are love and gravitate towards love and light.  Love is a much more powerful force than fear. Unfortunately, many of us put on the masks and layers of fear and mistrust and bury our true essence so deeply that we forget.  We become so disconnected with ourselves and consequently can never get past the more obvious ways we vandalize our opportunities for happiness and damage the people in our lives.

Love expands us and fear shrinks us into nothingness.  Love is rooted in a state of ‘knowing’, whereas fear is based entirely upon ‘beliefs’, most of which are false.  When we operate out of love, we know and feel deeply that everything in the universe is interconnected and that we are part of all creation. When we separate ourselves from “them” we are operating out of fear not love.   When we love, we see everything as whole and not fragmented, we feel safety in the universe regardless of how threatening our outside situations or events may be.  To open ourselves fully means that regardless of how often we have been hurt, our love of life is much bigger and stronger than the fear of getting hurt by it. We are willing to take a chance.

Stress is a by-product of fear.  The signs are pretty obvious; we are all intuitive enough to feel our energy constricting. Tightness, pressure in the chest, clenched teeth, confusion, obsession, magnetizing negative energy are just some examples of fear and stress. Our energy spirals downward, and the fear itself grows like a monster and takes over our lives.  We close down to possible solutions because we only see what we lack or what we fear. Fear breeds self-doubt and lack of confidence.  Coming from a place of fear brings on more fear and eventually emotional paralysis.

The key is to be aware of our thought patterns and the resulting emotions and physical sensations.  We can work towards changing our thought patterns and actions and releasing the negative energy not only from our mind but also through our body.

Working with our breath is a quick and effective way to release negative energy of any type.  It also stops any negative energy entering our body and mind.  We can breathe in love and breathe out fear. Fear of what in particular?  Breathe it out gently. Continuing to breathe with this intention will eventually bring a sense of neutrality and lead to an absence of fear or stress. Every time we notice the symptoms of fear, we can pay attention to our breath repeatedly, persistently and lovingly.

Am I operating out of fear or love?  This is a question we can ask ourselves with every thing we do.  We can become a vehicle of change.  We may be the only encounter of love that someone may experience.  How do we want to touch others, with love or fear?



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In The Meantime

What sustains us when everything around us falls apart? What do we hold on to when everything we were holding on to just slips away and vanishes?

At one point or another in our lives, we all have been devastated by divorce, death or an illness.  The time in between now and until we make it is the meantime and it may prove to be the most significant time of our lives.  The question is what do we do in this meantime?

We can blame others, be angry at our luck, or believe that we are doomed no matter what.  This will make us feel worse than we already do.  When nothing else will work, we may feel compelled to look for answers within ourselves.  We may begin to remember other painful incidents in our lives and wonder why?  Why what we are going through feels like we have been there before?  And if we continue to contemplate, we may begin to notice our habitual way of being, thinking and reacting.  This may be a moment of relief because we have just begun to understand ourselves.

This meantime is the time for unconditional self-love, self-knowledge and self-awareness.  The desire to be deeply known and understood is no one else’s but our own responsibility.   When our happiness and security is dependent on someone or something else, it means it can also be taken away.  We may also push away this external source of happiness and security by constantly worrying that we might loose it.

I am not suggesting that we won’t ever fall back into our old habit patterns of self-pity and blaming others.  The learning is hidden in the falling and climbing back on.  Mastery of life, we seldom can, it is in its trials and tribulations that we may begin to understand it.

How we do one thing is how we do everything.  When we take away all the dramas, it is all about choices. It takes continuous, repetitive and persistent effort to have our actions reflect our choices.  In this meantime, what do we choose to do?

We can trust that whatever has happened and will happen is for our higher good.  We can sit with whatever comes up and allow ourselves to feel deeply what we feel.  We can choose to be gentle, kind and loving to ourselves and open our hearts to no other but ourselves.

Why do all this work?  What is the point? That is for each one of us to figure out for ourselves.  I do know that if we do not learn from our experiences, they will continue to repeat.  We can choose not to be prisoners of the past.  We can let go of a rigid picture of the future that we dreamed up a long time ago. Where we begin and where we end up is hardly the point.  It is all the stuff in the middle, the meantime that life is made up of.

We are all equipped to handle anything that comes our way and this meantime is the time to realize that.   In spite of all the cracks in our foundation, realize that we are whole inside.  When we are convinced of that, we will understand that this meantime is not the time to “fix” ourselves; it is the time perhaps to see ourselves for the very first time.  We may rearrange our stuff.  Only then, we can let go of fixing others, forgive others and most importantly forgive ourselves.  Our biggest and most important teachers are those who have hurt us and therefore have forced us to take a closer look at ourselves.

No one can make our meantime less painful.  We must spend time alone to gather up all the pieces and parts of ourselves that we have given away or lost.  Behind every experience there is a lesson.  Let go of the experiences, hold on to the lessons.  Share them with others.  Everything we are, we are because we have made it through our experiences.

I do not know what we will find on the other side when our meantime is over.  I suspect that our heart will be so open to love ourselves that it would hardly matter.  There would no longer be a need to change others.  We will accept ourselves and therefore others unconditionally and be glad that we took this meantime to understand our own making.



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