Meena's Musings

I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.

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I came across this meditation a couple of weeks ago. I recited it along for 108 times but the meaning did not sink in until last night.
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A very special night to celebrate Diwali and the Divine feminine (arranged by my dear friends Lalit and Rachna Sethi, who are always hosting events to bring the community together and who I am so grateful for) with chanting, dancing and meditating, the meaning of the above prayer broke through and tears flowed unstoppably.
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All of our life we struggle with forgiving others; we struggle because forgiving others is not our business. Who are we to forgive others? What others do is between them and their Soul; no one does anything to anyone else without doing it to themselves. It’s really ourselves that we need to forgive. Forgiveness is not something we give to others, it’s what we ask of our soul because somewhere in hurting others we have hurt ourselves.
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Knowingly and unknowingly we hurt others by thinking negative thoughts about them, by judging them, by closing off to them because they are different or separate from us (so we think). This burdens our soul, separates us from our Higher Self, becomes part of our subconscious and steals away a part of us.
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During the chanting last night, this prayer found its way to me. As I started to scan all the people who I had hurt and ask for forgiveness, my mind was flooded endlessly with people; from all the Ex’s to that friend who didn’t return my phone call; from the high school teacher to the girl I was mean to; from yelling at my mom to not accepting that relative; from closing off to that woman because she was different to hanging up on that marketer trying to make a living. So you see, I needed to ask for forgiveness from all of these people and most importantly from myself.
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“When you can’t see God in all; you don’t see God at all”. “Seeing” the Divine in all those around me, dancing, rejoicing and just being and being a witness to this beautiful creation broke open my heart and tears flowed.
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In one of the meditation retreats with Dr. Paul Dugliss, he said to me, “ You have to realize that your son is God”; these words hit me deeply last night as I “saw” the God in all.
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One of the chants last night was on gratitude; the translation of one of the lines; “I am grateful for You have made me capable of living and loving” spoke to me even deeply. We are made capable to love because we are meant to love. To be able to serve, to be a vessel for love is our Highest Purpose.
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Utterly humbled and grateful for this human life and for this human experience. Love you all!

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