Anger – the Most Useful Emotion
What? How can you say that? The world right now is swirling in anger. We don’t need more of it.
It isn’t fun or easy to feel anger; it is much easier to suppress it, rationalize it, put a nice little bow on it and just focus on the good stuff. ( Sometimes it is necessary to do just that in order to do life) We fear that we may get stuck in it and not know how to come out of it. And we do get stuck in it if we don’t know how to shift it. We have all experienced being stuck in anger and may know many who remain stuck in it their whole life.
But there it is, showing up again and again! It will continue to recycle no matter how much we shift our focus away from it.
What do we do with it?
We actively feel it. Feeling requires expression as anger is deeply buried in our tissue memory. We can acknowledge that we are angry, but we may need to do more than that in order to free ourselves of it. I recommencded one of my clients to take all the dishes she did not like and break them passionataly on the garage floor and she did and made a beautiful mosaic out of it, but most importantly that’s how she rid herself out of the rage she was experiencing. Anger unexpressed or felt turns into rage that finds its way in our organs leading to disease.
We have learned suppression
We have been taught that anger is a negative emotion so we have learned to push it away. How many times we may have said this to those we care about, “come on, don’t be angry”. It seems harmless until it isnt.
To talk ourselves out of feeling something is quite confusing for the psyche as the experience has already happened whether we acknowledge it or not. Like all emotions, anger is an energy that will continue to cycle until it is freed. The energies of all emotions are held in the subconscious has no concept of time and space, hence the reason why we feel the traumas with the same intensity as when they actually happened; it does not judge the experience but simply holds the energy of it.
Anger – the great mobilizer
Many times, our emotions are not always clear and show up in the guise of anger and when we push anger away, we are storing many emotions in our tissues that lead to dis-ease of both mind and body.
Beneath all anger is pain; pain of not being enough, pain of being victimized or isolated, pain of abandonment, pain of feeling worthless, pain or shame of being found out, pain of being vulnerable. Beneath the pain is the desire for Love. So unleashing the anger reveals the deeper emotions we have buried within ourselves. Beneath that desire for love is the ONE who is desiring it. That ONE is your Higher self; your soul seeking to find itself. We connect with that part of ourselves. We open our heart to our own darkness and bring it to love. In love, anger turns to pain, in love pain connects us to our deeply held desires and the ONE who is desiring.All we ever want is love and by opening our heart to our own pain is how we experience the love.
This is how anger mobilizes all the other emotions that are hidden under it. Without this understanding and actively feeling the anger, all we do is recycle it again and again.
Acknowledging our anger does not require another person, it only involves one person – the person who is experiencing it. As mentioned above, anger not only needs to be acknowledged, but it’s important to express it physically. Other ways are making up curse words, throwing punches in the air, using a punch bag, screaming, breaking dishes and being creative with your expression. Journaling can also help us see our own patterns and give air to our deeply embedded emotions. Please note that this is all done in your own privacy. It’s between you and you. To acknowledge one’s emotions and to have a way to metabolize them releases the energy that’s been vested in hiding them and greatly empowers the individual.
We must see it to heal it
We can’t heal what we can’t see and that is why our innermost and deeply held emotions are mirrored in our life experiences again and again until we can truly see into them and heal them. “Why does this keep happening to me?” is because we haven’t healed or metabolized our experiences. They don’t repeat to punish or reward us in any way, it is about freeing the energy behind it and to take responsibility for our own experiences.
Love Heals ALL
We feel it as deeply as we can and open our heart to it. We expand our heart around it and envelope it in love. In feeling it as deeply as we can, we soften the intensity of it, we free it and see what’s beneath the anger.
These experiences serve as a catalyst to awaken us to our Truth if we allow it. Acknowledging our emotions allow us to see ourselves in the most vulnerable and mask-free way and strengthens our connection to our Truth. Lack of this connection is what the root cause of addiction is. We can choose: connection or addiction?
Talking about the experiences is helpful but it does not expand or heal us at the deeper levels. Remember the energy underneath our emotions is what needs to be freed. How do we free it? By opening our heart to it.
This is what it means to love our pain. Difficult? Yes! But it is short lived and the results are miraculous and hold the power to heal lifetimes of pain and trauma.
By opening our hearts to our own experiences, we are honoring our experiences and there is no better expression of Self-Love than this.
Doing this work is difficult and we rather We rather go straight to love and peace. This is what’s called Spiritual Bypassing.
Just focusing on the peace and all the good in our lives isn’t wrong; however, it does not give us a full spectrum experience of ourselves. Our darkness and fear is a part of love and it must be accepted, acknowledged as such so it too can find freedom in love.
All emotions are energy; in fact, our entire life is energy. When we resist the painful and dark emotions, the energy gets stuck deep in our psyche only to bubble up again and again in different forms. This energy, can find freedom in the acceptance of it, feeling it and then merging it in love. Love is the highest expression of all emotions and when we free these emotions in Love, we heal.
Darkness is part of light, fear is part of love! Darkness is needing to be shown light and fear needs to be shown love. This is how we become whole and come full circle.
This is what my upcoming group program “Heal to Awaken” is all about. We will learn how to open our heart to all of our experiences and experience this New Way of Love – where nothing is made wrong but merged in the One Flow of Love. The group, the space and the time provide a safe container that will allow us to go deep into our past experiences and heal them.
Too often, we get lost in the details of the story and who did what and why it is someone else’s fault. This work is about taking ownership of our own experiences and healing them. Once we heal, these experiencing will no longer continue to repeat. “Why me? And Why does this keep happening to me?” will not be the questions that you will need to ask.