Meena's Musings


What We Judge; We Don’t Forgive


What is Judgment?
Judgment is connecting the value of an individual to what they do, how they look, the political opinions they hold, that social and financial status, to their race and ethnic background and to their lifestyle and habits. For example, bad habits mean bad people.  Bad things can happen to any of us; when we begin to associate that to who we are, we are judging.  The truth is we have been conditioned to judge without even knowing;  this is what we are bringing awareness to our innermost thoughts and feelings so we can begin to de-program and separate the person from everything they do or everything that happens in their life.
All Judgment is Self-Judgment

The only way we see ourselves is by projecting outward; however we are not aware of this and mistake our projections on others to be their reality.  Remember, the world is a mirror of our innermost experience of ourselves.  The judgment of others is what we are  not willing to look and acknowledge within oursleves.  Here are some examples from my practice.  A client had a conflict with a boss who was all about money and was triggerd by that.  It turns out that the client really wanted to have more money but was judging herself bad in wanting to have more money.  Another example is of a client whose spouse, she felt was too self-absored.  The truth was that she wished she spent time in caring for herself but was conflicted as she thought that would be selfish.  But her desire was to really spend more time in caring for herself. A simple realization of this fact can have profound effects.  This is the process of healing and becoming whole; to open our heart to all parts of oursleves that we have pushed away.  We become what we judge in others and what we don’t forgive in others.

When we wrong someone else, we wrong that part in ourselves. When we wrong that part in ourselves, we wrong others. We get caught in this vicious cycle of hatred and pain which serves no one.
How Gossip Perpetuates Judgment
When we judge others, we gossip about them, that’s how we process the judgment; we want to make ‘them” wrong and make ourselves right.  The truth is judging never feels good so we engage in gossiping to make ourselves feel good.   Gossip is that which we don’t have the guts to say directly to the person; even if we are listening to someone else gossip we become part of the equation. When we participate in gossip, we are judging because we are listening and validating the other person’s view or judgment.
When we gossip, we take on their Karma i.e. the reaction of that energy boomerangs back to us. And the person we are talking about, takes our karma. Ever wonder why people who do so many “bad” things continue to prosper in their lives, because they have so many “fans” talking bad about them, taking their Karma.  And remember, the physical manifestation of engaging in these feelings isn’t far.
Let’s start with our own family. Do you talk about one member to the other? The truth is we all do. The other truth is it also keeps us swirling in this circle of gossip and sucks our energy. We create triangular relationships which don’t work. When we have issue with one member of our family, that’s the only person we need to have a conversation with.
We all live in glass houses; the stones we throw on others can also break our own homes. We are all in this life together. We are all human. We all face the same challenges hidden in different lifestyles and stories. It does not mean we have to agree with others, like them or be a part of what they are doing but we don’t need to make them wrong or judge them.
Remember, “When we don’t see God in all, We don’t see God at all”  It’s all GOD having different experiences of human life. Every human on this planet is looking to be happy, to be seen and held and they have the right to pick their path of achieving that. We don’t need to agree with anything, but we do need not to make it wrong either.
We are in this together.  We are here to love and walk each other home.  This is the ultimate purpose of our human existence.  At least, that’s what I think and I feel grateful to be a small part of your path.
What we Judge; We dont’ forgive
Judgment comes in the way of Forgiveness; That which we judge to be wrong, bad, inferior in others, we hold it against them and don’t forgive them for it. So forgiving others requirs that we do not judge them.  This is very difficult; how do we not judge those who have caused us great pain.  In order for us to experience pain, we are energetically responsible (even when we are unconscious of it) to trigger an energetic response from them that played out or brought out the energy of the pain that was already there with the Divine purpose of this being that we heal ourselve.  Refer to this 6A technique for Healing
It’s really ourselves that we need to forgive
When we take responsibilty for our own experiences, we come to realize that we have done many things that hurt our soul; when we went against the integrity of our own soul, when we didn’t stand up for ourselves, when we did not operate with love and trust, when we forgot our ultimate truth that we are Love and Light.  It’s the deep disconnection from our own soul that makes us lash out on others, judge others who remind us of our own inadeqacies and our own judgments that we don’t want to deal with.  We need to forgive ourselves.  It’s not our job to forgive others as we are not the judge nor the jury of others.  Everything someone does in between them and their higher Self; it had nothing to do with us to begin with.  This deeper awareness can lead us to forgive ourselves and retore our health and vitality.  Forgiveness is not something we give to others, it’s what we ask of our Soul because somewhere in hurting others we have hurt ourselves.
Here is a great healing meditation that I often practice myself and with my clients with great results.
Ho’oponopono Meditation
toronto homeHere is the meditation:  ” I am sorry.  Please forgive me.  I love you.  Thank you.”  And we repeat this 108 times or any number of times would be helpful.  I came across the paintings of this meditation, so I framed them and now I have a beautiful reminder in my home.
In one of my practices of this meditation, I started to scan all the people who I had hurt and ask for forgiveness.  My mind was flooded endlessly with people; from all the Ex’s to that friend who didn’t return my phone call; from the high school teacher to the girl I was mean to; from yelling at my mom to not accepting that relative; from closing off to that woman because she was different to hanging up on that marketer trying to make a living. So you see, I needed to ask for forgiveness from all of these people and most importantly from myself.  Knowingly and unknowingly we hurt others by thinking negative thoughts about them, by judging them, by closing off to them because they are different or separate from us (so we think). This burdens our soul, separates us from our Higher Self, becomes part of our subconscious and steals away a part of us.
We are made capable to love because we are meant to love. To be able to serve, to be a vessel for love is our Highest Purpose.  When we realzie that we are Love; we stop searhing for out on the outside.  Love is what we give away and it comes back multi-fold.